Destiny awaits or The Queens new computer system

Lime Green Knight says Destiny conversion will be "transparent".

The Lime Green Knight says that the conversion to Destiny will be "transparent". The Dots are wondering what that means. The Dots thought it meant "free from guile, candid or open", so that all of the "stakeholders", the librarians, the peasants, the village headmen and, yea, even the Dots, would be informed of all discussions. This is obviously not true since a meeting about the conversion was held last Friday and only Sage and Silver were invited...and only for part of the meeting. Then Silver found a different definition of transparent on the the WEB. According to that definition, transparent means you can't see what they are doing. That definition matches very well with the way the Black Queen operates. She definitely doesn't want people seeing what she does. Then there is the definition of transparent that is like window glass...you can see through the window and if it's very clean, you can't see the window glass itself. It's invisible. So maybe Destiny is also invisible, or as we say in the computer biz, "virtual". If Destiny is "virtual" then it would work with virtual servers, virtual networks, and a virtual student download from the Great Desert software. That must be it. That must be why the Black Queen and the Lime Green Knight keep saying we don't need to worry about network speed even though our networks consist primary of geriatric hamsters running on old squeaky wheels. Destiny, the Queen's new computer system, must be virtual. The Lime Green Knight said that the purpose of the meeting Friday was to "answer questions". Silver and Sage did ask a lot of questions however, neither Silver nor Sage can remember any answers being given. Maybe the answers are virtual as well.


If the Black Queen's operations were actually transparent, perhaps there wouldn't be quite as many of these "stakeholders".

Destiny

Are you findin' Destiny fair, Silver, Sage, Black Queen and Lime?
Remember taxpayers will pay for your share, if you think Destiny's fine.

The Black Queen invited Sage and Silver to an audience last week with IDEA, the Lime Green Knight, and the Lords of Folly and Destiny. Silver wasn't quite sure what the meeting was about. Silver and Sage discussed cataloging arcana to the dismay of the Black Queen who kept poking her blackberry imp in a effort to find out who this guy MARC is. Most of Silver's questions started out with "When...?" and were answered with "We'll decide that later." "Later, when?" "We'll decide that later as well." Silver suspects the answer is "After you leave the room." but then Silver always was something of a pessimist. The Lords of Folly had a Powerpoint but none of the slides seemed to have the answers to questions either. Then Silver and Sage were dismissed and the next group was admitted to Audience. According to IDEA, the Duchy is reluctant to consider allowing students to look at library catalogs from home citing "Security Issues". Possibly the Black Queen is afraid that this guy MARC is a terrorist? Possibly MARC is a member of dreaded DDC Underground, dedicated to classifying all of the knowledge in the world? Later Purple and Silver discussed the question of Security. Purple thinks the right approach is to equip all workstations with a Matthew Brady Security System, a black hood attached to the monitor, with drawcords like a theatre curtain. When a user is accessing secret information like library records they can throw the hood over their head and shoulders thus protecting the free world from knowledge of the existence of Books... in School Libraries.
Incidentally, if you think the DDC Underground is just another urban myth, you should read about their counterpart organization, Al Gebra.
In this busy holiday season, while celebrating Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah, don't forget to include Holiday, the Pastafarian winter holiday.
Happy Holiday!

Mysterious appearances in Dotland

Once again the SNEAC building is the site of uncanny occurrences. Bundles of curious metal cages have been appearing in unusual places, then disappearing and reappearing in other places. Some sort of structure is being built across the ceiling, going around the edges of the room, disappearing into holes in the ceiling even though no workers are ever seen. Is this some sort of Close Encounters thing? Are aliens building a mysterious device to trap the inhabitants of the SNEAC building? (Well, probably aliens are building it. Aliens do all of the construction in Arizona.) Silver thinks the new structure looks like a hamster run. Sage is hoping it's a track for an electric train. She thinks a nice train running around below the ceiling, blowing its whistle at crossing, would add a nice homey atmosphere to the place. Bringing the Dots back down to Earth, Black-and-Yellow Dot of Bombs and Engineering, says the new structure is cable runs for wiring. Of course, one of the other Dots heard a rumor that the SNEAC building is going wireless. Let's see. The SNEAC building is currently wired but doesn't have any cable runs. Now it's going to be wireless so they are installing cable runs for the non-wires. Makes perfect sense.

Holidays in Dotland

Dotland, and the rest of the SNEAC building, has been decorated for the holidays, Christmas tree and all. The Dots were invited to a Christmas party by the Black Queen but decided it wouldn't fit into their busy social schedule. (Actually, invitations from the Black Queen always make the Dots nervous and they have to go and lie down in a darkened room.) Blue is on a trip. Sage is immersed in arcane cataloging spells. Silver sits in her cubby all day poking at the Grand Union and muttering "That's not right.." under her breath. Purple and Turquoise are kept busy answering budget questions (But how can I be overdrawn when I still have checks left!) Maybe it's time for a looong vacation. What do you think?

What's happening in Libraryland?

IDEA would very much like all of the Duchy or at least the LibraryLand part of it to reside in the Province of Perfect, where all books and other things are perfectly cataloged , all libraries spend all of their budget but not a penny more, and all libraries have enough computers. Unfortunately, the Duchy is not being cooperative about being perfect. So IDEA and the Dots spent the day pondering some eternal questions.
Why are some libraries over budget and it's not even Christmas?
Why does the librarian who cares the most about perfect records get all of the really bad ones? Some librarians don't really care how it looks and the Grand Union never dumps really bad records on them.
Why have some library computers mysteriously (or maybe not so mysteriously) disappeared?
Why doesn't the Duchy have an official definition of a Teacher-Librarian, even though GoG insists that she created one? Is it possible that GoG's creations just melt away over time like snowflakes in the sun? Is the Black Queen hoping that GoG can make DotLand melt away over time?
Why can't even the Diva get Professional Learning credit approved by the Preventer of Professional Learning? (IDEA has been assured that the Preventer of Professional Learning will approve HER paperwork. Silver has heard THAT before.)
Well, that's enough deep thoughts for a Friday afternoon. It's time to go out and play!

News from Dotland

News! What News? Since nothing much new has been happening in Dotland, we'll talk about what hasn't happened.

• The call for a replacement of IDEA has not been made. (Actually, since the new one is supposed to be permanent and full time, it wouldn't really be IDEA. Maybe just DEA?) The original announcement that there would be a new Director attracted a lot of attention. However, those eager applicants holding their breath waiting for the promised announcement have long since succumbed to lack of oxygen. Librarians are assuring IDEA that she is not interim at all but permanent. This is not welcome news to IDEA who has been thinking deep green thoughts of spring and topsoil and petunias and seedling tomatoes.
• Silver's promised new robes have not yet appeared. Labor problems? A strike at the factory perhaps? The designer broke his favorite pencil and was unable to continue? Silver has given up and is making her own robes.
• Destiny (or Fate or Doom or Dynasty or whatever you want to call it) has still not appeared either. Maybe this is a good time to explain the meaning of strophe and antistrophe. Picture a Greek chorus consisting of Gog and the Lime Green Knight, in appropriate Greek robes, dancing off stage left singing "Des-tiny is coming to town...by Christmas" (to the tune of "Santa Claus is coming to town"). That's strophe. Now picture the Black Dot Queen (I don't think we want to picture her in Greek robes, though. Let's just stick to her normal black robes with the ermine trim.) dancing off stage right singing "I never ever said that at all!" That's antistrophe.

Well, that's the non-news for today. We'll see what doesn't happen tomorrow. (Space is always an issue in publishing. With so much not happening, some non-events are bound to be omitted. We apologize if your favority non-event was overlooked.)

Dispatches from Dotland

To quote from Non Sequitur, Arizona Daily Star, November 29, 2006
"I don't get it. After all the budget cuts to streamline the workforce, why aren't we moving faster?" (picture of a large boat with committee on the upper deck and 1 lone rower in the galley)

Due to completely forseen circumstances, your faithful correspondent has been completely unfaithful and has been spending lots of time playing and eating instead of paying attention to business and Dotland. And your faithful correspondent had better shape up and quit eating before she has to be rolled out the door!

Correction:
In our last dispatch, we discussed the presentation to the peasants by a CLAPTRAP (Curriculum, Learning And Professional Teaching Refused And Postposed) representative. That was their old name. That department is now known as PL, Preventing Learning. The full name is Preventing Learning At All Costs or PLAAC, pronounced with a hawking sound in the back of the throat and followed by spitting and making the sign to ward off the evil eye. In either incarnation, PLAAC is feared by all. Even the normally poised Diva is known to look harassed and mutter when the name is spoken. Indigo Dot and some artists from Studioland hatched a plot to teach teachers how to use art to teach mathematics and science and history. Indigo tried to get this approved by PLAAC. Indigo has been unwilling to discuss the experience and will probably need long term counseling to recover. Currently the Diva has put on extra armor and is planning to storm PLAAC soon.

Silver overheard the following exchange in the PLAAC office:
Teacher "I taught a course this summer and I'm here to collect the PL credit. "
PLAAC "Did you file forms A and B."
Teacher "Yes, I filed forms A, B, C, D, and E."
PLAAC "All you have to do now is bring me form C."
Teacher "I already filed form C." (Denial)
PLAAC " You have to bring me form C."
Teacher "I gave you form C already."
PLAAC "You have to bring me form C."
Teacher with gritted teeth "I filed form C with forms A and B already." (Anger)
PLAAC "You have to bring me form C."
Teacher "Do you mean you want me to fill out a new form C."
PLAAC "No, you have to turn in the form C that goes with your form A and B."
Teacher "I don't have that form C. I gave it to you."
PLAAC "You have to bring me form C."
Teacher "Can you make a copy of the form C I already turned in so that I can give it to you?" (Bargaining)
PLAAC "No, you have to bring me form C."
Teacher "Can I see the form C I turned in?" (More bargaining)
PLAAC " No, you have to bring me form C."
Teacher "What am I going to do? I don't have form C because I gave it to you. I promised my wife I would get this credit so I would get a step increase so we can afford the surgery for my mother. Now everyone will be mad at me." (Depression)
PLAAC "You have to bring me form C."
After several more equally hopeless rounds the teacher gave up and walked away. (Acceptance)
Silver looked to see if she could tell where the PLAAC robot was plugged in but was unable to locate the wires. Maybe it's a wireless robot like a Roomba. At least the Roomba vacs the floor!

New IDEAS

The peasants gathered today with the new IDEA to meet all of the new peasants. There is now a peasant for every village. (We hope that works out better than a chicken for every pot.) Blue, Sage, turquoise, and Silver were all present and learned a lot of new things. The Duchy will no longer have a fixed number of peasants. If there are more students, the Duchy will find more peasants. (Silver rolled her eyes.) They found out why the the high school libraries got no deseg funds this year. "We didn't know who to ask about the deseg funds." (Silver ground her teeth and muttered "That's because the Black Dot Queen fired everyone who knew anything.") They found out about extra money for next year's magazine order. The White Queen has money for next year's magazine order that will be dispensed either (Option A) according to the size of the schools, which will be unfair to tiny schools or (Option B) some other way that won't be unfair to tiny schools but will probably be unfair to large schools. The IDEA will ask the Black Dot Queen to choose Option A or Option B. This correspondent predicts that her Blackness will pick Option C, invest the money in an account while she makes the decision. The account will of course have a service charge so that by the time the Queen picks either A the B, the money will all be gone (or the magazines gone out of business.) The meeting also had a representative from Curriculum, Learning, And Professional Teaching Refused And Postponed (CLAPTRAP) who talked about training. The CLAPTRAP representative said that the Duchy considered customer services VERY IMPORTANT. (Silver ground her teeth VERY LOUDLY and her neighbor swatted her.) The new IDEA and the Dots prefer the "drive-by" training they have always done. CLAPTRAP prefers that we have long engagements with their professional torturers to drive-by encounters with the Dots. The Dots, they say, don't do sufficient followup. (Silver muttered, "You mean they don't want to throw themselves out the window after we're done with them.")
Silver and Sage also got to talk about their friend Marc. Some of the peasants already hang out with Marc but some of the other are not sure Marc is friendly. The new IDEA and Sage and Silver believe that Marc can help us eliminate funkiness. The new IDEA said "There will be no more of that old funkiness. From now on, we will have new and improved funky." Silver and Sage both agreed strongly.

All quiet on the Dotland Front

Things are very, very quiet in Dotland. Purple is on the sea. Pink is out in a village. Navy is with the buses. Gold is gone (sigh). Without Navy there just isn't as much music although Sage boosts our spirits by dancing. Is the quiet because everyone is waiting for the Black Queen to drop the next shoe? How many shoes does the Black Queen have? Probably fewer pairs of shoes than Silver. But the real question is how many shoes can the Black Queen wear at one time? Is it 2... or is it 8? (Now you're just being catty. It's back in the box for you!)

Hawaii (for Purple)

For Purple (with apologies to Arlo Guthrie)
Coming into Hilo from over the sea
Sailing in a big sea liner
Flowers flyin' everywhere around the ship
Could you ever feel much finer?

Coming into port for the day,
wearing a lokilani lei,
Don't touch that bag till I say,
Mister Purser Man

Annals of interior decorating

This was Dotland before the Black Dot Queen redecorated. The pleasing paint colors, the functional and welcoming front door, the comfortable interior were all left from the Diva's previous redecoration. Of course, the Black Dot Queen wanted to put her own STAMP (spoken firmly with a sharp stomping movement of the right foot) on Dotland.
The Black Dot Queen has a unique decorating style, sometimes described with words such as "broken", "disfunctional" and "catastophic". She calls the style "rightsizing". Dotland after the Black Dot Queen's attentions is shown below. This is a variant of rightsizing normally referred to as "capsizing" or sometimes "dumbsizing". The caution tape adds a nice touch. While the Queen was able to "redecorate" Dotland, she had only limited success in redecorating the Dots. She was able to eliminate Pink and Navy from the color palatte but Silver broke out in Fuschia and the Dots bring in Indigo and Cornflower to round out their original color palatte. Note the lack of an entrance. The Black Dot Queen hoped that eliminating an entrance into Dotland will make it easier for her to close it completely. However, with typical dotgenuity, the Dots and their friends manage to carry on.

Mysterious explosion rocks SNEAC

The normally quiet SNEAC building was jarred today by a series of explosions coming from Dotland. Despite initial reports of casualties and massive damage, Dotland and the rest of the SNEAC building appear to be intact. Survivors were initially dazed and confused. "I just ducked and ran for cover" reported one Dot. Investigators tracing the source of the explosions were able to determine that the new IDEA had exploded all over the Diva. The Dots were initially puzzled by the eruption. However, after discussion, the Dots concluded that the Black Queen has been stuffing the new IDEA with radioactive toxic waste about the Diva, turning the new IDEA into a ticking time bomb. After the Black Queen's preparation, it took only a simple word from the Diva to trigger the detonation. The Dots are trying to determine whether it will be necessary to call the Hazardous Waste Department to decontaminate the area. The Diva was seen leaving the building shortly after the outburst, looking shaken but unhurt. The IDEA was seen at the daily potluck looking somewhat deflated but otherwise normal. Since there is no discernible debris field, the Dots are hoping that tomorrow will bring a return to normalcy for Dotland.

Fate or Doom and do we care?

Silver was back today looking somewhat tired and bedraggled. "Bad night?" asked Purple. "I caught Fuschia trying to turn my cat into a needlepoint wallhanging. Said she was practicing to turn the Black Queen into a footstool.. Or may it was a toadstool..* Anyway I had to throw her out. And she left such a mess, glitter and pink feathers all over everything!"
Later Silver and Sage went to a meeting with the new IDEA, the Lime Green Knight, and some librarians. GoG was also there which precluded festivities like burning GoG in effigy. The purpose was to discuss Destiny, which Fuschia calls Fate, but Silver sometimes thinks should be called Doom. Silver was dubious about whether the Duchy was really prepared to deal with Doom. She was worried about the ability of the Duchy's many older pigeons to carry all the messages Doom would require. The Lime Green Knight assured everyone that the Duchy's pigeons were in fine form, ready to triumph in the Senior Pigeon Olympics, and more than adequate to the task of dealing with Doom. Fuschia, who had crept back and was hiding in a corner, eavesdropping, muttered "I think the Lime Green Knight has been drinking too much Lime Green Limacol**." The meeting concluded with a lively discussion of censorship and sex among vampires, werewolves, and wererats. (Bet you wish you'd signed up for THAT committee now!!)
-----------------------------------------
* Pink sign seen in the Blue Willow parking lot.
Princess Parking
All others will be Toad.
Silver thinks it's her personal parking spot.
-----------------------------------------
**Limacol is a lime green refreshing hair tonic, mouthwash, deodorant and beverage once very popular in Jamaica, mon.

Halloween in Dotland

Today was Halloween in Dotland. Of course, there are those who say that every day in the Duchy is pretty scary. The Dots and the rest of the building celebrated the occasion with a potluck. Attracted by food, Fuschia, the Follay Fairy (pronounced faux - lay, (quiet, Purple!), spelled Follett, referred to by many as Folly) was flitting about the building all day in her feathery finery, flapping her magic wand at Folly, and finally interfering in folk's affairs. Silver was nowhere to be seen but the ghost of Gold was seen several times, accompanied by the ominous clunking that Turquoise so fears. Taking advantage of Silver's absence, Fuschia fidgeted her way into a face-to-face with the Diva, ferreting out facts about Silver's new fashions. "So when will Silver be fitted in the finest fashion?" asked Fuschia. "The costumer says that as long as Silver is wearing her current robes no new robes can be created." replied the Diva. "What will that fashion be?" fussed Fuschia. "I don't have details" said the Diva "but the new robes will come from TiTS". "Hmmm.." said Fuschia fluttering away. Next Fuschia went to talk to Purple. "The Diva feels that Silver's finery will be fashioned by TiTS. I fear Silver might fail to find the fitness in that." "You're right" Purple replied "Garments from TiTS tend to be rather industrial and full of wires." "The Diva also says that also long as Silver wears her current robes, no new robes can be fashioned..." "Oh..." said Purple, encouraging Fuschia to continue (big mistake, Fuschia needs no encouragement.) "OK" said Fuschia "forget the folderol. Are they saying that because Silver is being paid as a temp hourly, they can't possibly advertise a permanent full-time position? Does that make any sense at all? And people say I'm foolish! And do they mean that Silver has to quit as a temp-hourly and then the full-time job will suddenly appear? Do they expect her to fall for that?! You want my opinion, I think they need to go back to firing her by pigeon!" Fuschia shoved her feathers back and stomped off, irritably flicking her wand at unsuspecting flies.
Later, Fuschia came across a very blue Blue who blew her stack. "The new IDEA leaves me out of meetings. No one tells me what is happening. I only know what I read in agitateddots." "Join the club" muttered Fuschia glumly, "Silver never tells me anything." The other Dots, being more sensible than Fuschia, gathered around to remind Blue of her importance to Dotland. "You're still the boss" said Sage. "No, I'm not" wailed Blue, "IDEA is the boss". "No,Boss, I still respect you at the same level of bossiality" replied Sage. "Yes" said Purple "you have the same bossivity." "But I never wanted to be the Boss. I'm just the referee" moped Blue. "OK, Ref" responded Purple and Sage "You're always the Blue Dot but we don't want you to be a blue Blue Dot!"

The Black Queen strikes again

The Black Queen came out of seclusion today to slap Silver's hand for "shouting", in Capitals, by pigeon, at TiTS. Silver was nonplused. "That was only emphasis. Shouting would be much larger, 16 pt and bold at least. Besides it was only two words. If I don't send them pigeons like that once in a while, they'll think I don't love them any more." The Black Queen also suggested that Silver shout at the new IDEA instead of TiTS. Silver wasn't thrilled with that either. "Why would I shout at IDEA? She's fun to have around." It sounds like the Black Queen is up to her old tricks of sowing discord. It must be very frustrating for her to have to deal with Dotland, Studioland, and librarians all of whom live to collaborate, facilitate and have celebratory potlucks.

GLUE

Today I was simply GLUED to the blog by Purple's comment. Things like that are the GLUE that hold us all together. If only we have more of that kind of GLUE in the Duchy, I'm sure we would all be GLUED to our desks by the pleasure of work. Instead we have the Black Queen who is sort of like that GLUEY stuff you find on the bottom of your shoe. The Black Queen obviously needs GLUE to hold her schemes together, however, I'm not sure there's enough GLUE in the world for that. Now I must go. I have GLUING to do.

Glue

"Glue" said Turquoise.
"What?" asked Silver.
"Glue. We have a PO. We have the possibility of possibly possessing paste at some point." Replied Turquoise. (Boy, contact with Fuschia, the Follay Fairy has some odd effects, doesn't it?)
"Why are you whispering?" inquired Silver.
"Don't you remember? The last time I mentioned you-know-what in public I got my hand slapped good!" Turquoise responded.
"Oh, right. Well, what will you do now?"
"I'm not sure. I could send a pigeon to the villages telling them we have, or least soon will have, you-know-what. But I'm not sure that telling them we have...you-know-what is positive enough." explained Turquoise.
"Why not? Having something seems more positive than not having something."
"Yes, but saying that we HAVE something raises the possibility that we could also NOT HAVE something."
"Oops, you're right. We don't want any more hand-slapping incidents."
Turquoise and Silver went off to talk it over with Blue, Purple and Sage.

Dishing with the Dots

The Dots were discussing current events (and other things) at lunch today. "One of the villages was had a lock down yesterday" said Silver. "Why?" asked Sage. "They had to call the police about a suicidal villager" responded Silver. "No!" gasped the Dots "What happened?" "Shot him" volunteered Purple. "With a tranquilizer dart" said Silver. "What!?" exclaimed Turquoise. "It's all right. They'll relocate him in a natural habitat, a village in a better neighborhood, maybe" continued Silver. The other Dots agreed that would work and went back to discussing lunch.

Fushia, the Follay Fairy

Today we caught up with Fuschia, the Follay Fairy, taking a Pepsi break. She was looking a little frazzled.
"'sup, Fushia" we asked.
"I'm furious" she fumed "I fear that some librarians and Dot Castle types feel that libraries shouldn't find out about Cataloging because Fate and Always Perfect will replace Cataloging. Even when I show them that Always Perfect isn't actually Perfect and that Fate isn't a destination, they still flail about trying to fling more fortune to fix failures. (Fushia uses a lot of F words, but not THE F word.)
"What does Fate have to do with it?" we inquired.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You may know it as Destiny but I call it Fate."
"What are your plans?" we asked.
"I fancy introducing my friend, Marc, to the peasants."
"We've heard that Marc is pretty fearsome" we said. (Now she's got us doing it.)
"Well, Marc is not favored in face, sort of a fine fellow in frog's clothing. But if you figure out how to fiddle with Marc, he can facilitate fifth graders finding their fill of fabulous facts. I feel that if we form fellowships with the peasants and Marc, everyone would feel finer.
"We've heard that meetings, fellowships, and especially, training are frowned upon by the castle" we said.
"That's factual" Fushia replied "but we've found that while training is frowned on, awareness is fine. So my friends in Dotland and I fancy that facilitating an awareness of Marc in peasants and librarians might frame finer libraries."
"And what of Destiny?"
"You mean Fate. Fate is the least of our problems. If Dotland, the peasants, and the librarians, are allowed to formulate a feasible framework for following Fate, we will find the future favorable. Now I have to go" she said firmly, finishing her Pepsi, and giving a final fidget to her finery.

Numbers

Today we are going to talk about some numbers. The Castle seems to be determined to buy Destiny from the Folly company. Possibly you would be interested in the price tag for Destiny. If the Castle has a current price quote for Destiny, they have not seen fit to share it with Dotland. However, Mohave Educational Services Cooperative has a quote. The site claims that the quote is good until 2009 although the quote itself claims to expire 12/31/2004. However, maybe the numbers in the quote can give us a rough idea of the bottom line. Destiny Library Manager for school districts with 51 or more schools has a list price of $2500 per site for districts with current support for Cataloging and Circulation. That would be about $250,000 if our support were current. Since it's not, if we have to pay back support, that would be about $312,000. In addition, the Castle also seems to be determined to buy textbook handling from Destiny. It's called Destiny Textbook Manager which lists at $2099 per site. That's about $209,900. So that's a total of $521,900 spent for library and textbook software at a time when the Duchy is cutting library support jobs, like Gold. Some of the Dots are pretty agitated about this!