Press Release

From the Association for the Preservation of Clueless and Incompetent Administrators for immediate release.

The Association of the Preservation of Clueless and Incompetent Administrators is pleased to announce the opening of a new refuge in Southern Arizona. The plight of these creatures is just heart-breaking. They are unable to communicate, unable to obtain food, usually unable to interact meaningfully with others, even others of their own kind.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q Was the refuge created because of habitat loss or overbreeding?
A. Neither. Habitat for incompetent administrators actually seems to be increasing. As for overbreeding, well, there's the competence problem with that. No, the real problem is that these administrators are just no longer able to survive in the wild. By creating this refuge, we are providing them with a protected area where they can interact as much as possible with others of their kind. There are a suitable number of attendants to help them send e-mail, schedule meetings, get food and other normal activities. This is an open refuge so they will still feel like they are in the real world but they will be protected from the consequences of their actions.
Q. Will the public also be protected from those consequences?
A. No. Making irresponsible decisions is instinctive. They can't help it. It's important for the public to carefully evaluate any e-mail or documents that might issue from the refuge. Usually they should just be ignored.
Q. Will it be possible to visit the refuge and observe these administrators?"
A. Oh, yes. Visitors are completely welcome during daylight hours. The new refuge is located at 1010 E. Tenth and is open to the public from 8 am to 5 pm, although visitors are warned that many of the administrators nest at odd times and might be unavailable for viewing.
Q. Is it possible to interact with these administrators?
A. Not really. They can sometimes mimic normal human behavior but it is not believed that they understand what they are doing.

Book Talk
One of the seasons hottest new movies (Literally! Have you seen those hunks?) 300, is now out in graphic novel form. Some early reviewers had reservations about the number of dangling p... appendages, however, an experienced librarian pointed out the opportunity to use the graphic novel as a leadin to a lesson on dangling participles. The popular graphic novel series Ranman
was also extolled for its contribution to intercultural proficiency by highlighting differing cultural norms with respect to nudity.

Meeting News
The newly formed Duchy Customer Service and Reading Room Department will holding focus groups to determine their mission, vision, strategic goals, and color of uniform and cap. The working group mission statement is "Knowledge comes from books. Over 3,000,000 loaned." Cap and uniform color is being hotly debated as is the question of whether or not to have a smiley face on the name badge. There is general agreement that, unlike the post office, the take a number system should be used. This will mean a capital expenditure for a take a number machines for each library, er, Reading Room but that can easily come from the money saved by not buying Destiny. Wait, they did buy Destiny? Damn, how did that happen? Are those guys getting out of the refuge again?

Procuring and other vices

The White Tornado has told us that on Tuesday, April 10, the Duchy Bored will make the decision to buy Destiny for the libraries. (Actually, the decision is secret, so White Tornado is not allowed to know that, but we all assume it.) If you look at the Bored Agenda you will see why they are bored, but you will also see RFP No. 07-94-12 labeled Resource Management System. Is that it? Why doesn't it mention libraries anywhere? If I google resource management system, I get a lot of hits from construction companies and a few more from networking companies, none from library automation vendors. However, we'll assume that the Black Queen hasn't once again lied to the White Tornado (Silver's "new" robes) and that RFP No. 07-94-12 is for libraries. Let's go over the normal RFP process. When a public agency wants to buy something expensive, they have to publicly ask for bids and then pick from the bidders (or start over). The last time the Duchy bought library automation, a committee got together, wrote an RFP (Request for Proposal), Duchy Purchasing sent it to a bunch of library vendors as well as posting it publicly somewhere. They got back responses and gave them to the library committee. The library committee went over the responses and picked what seemed to be the best vendor. The committee was pretty much self-selected, anyone who wanted to join in was allowed. Silver and Gold had conflicts of interest and couldn't be on the committee. This fall, the Black Queen again asked for volunteers to be on a committee. Silver had resolved the conflict of interest and volunteered this time along with a reasonable sampling of others from all levels. Gold was semi-retired and didn't want to make choices that others would have to live with. (Of course, that particular ethic has never bothered the Black Queen or GoG, or the Lime Green Knight, has it?) The committee met, looked over Destiny, decided that they could probably live with it...but they had some questions that needed resolution before a final decision was made. They wanted to see a real test of the system on the Duchy's network. In due course, the Lime Green Knight announced that there would be an RFP. The committee waited to be called together again to write the RFP and then evaluate the results...and waited and waited. The committee has not yet been called together again. However, Tuesday the Bored is supposed to be voting on the decision made by "the committee". Who? What? Since the decision was not made by the committee that was formed to make the decision, who did make it? Who was the RFP sent to? What companies sent responses back? How many responses were there? When the White Tornado found out that an RFP relating to libraries was being evaluated, she made an effort to be part of that evaluation and was told that the RFP responses were Classified and she didn't Need to Know. What? By law, all of this has to been made public after the Bored votes on Tuesday. By then it will be a little too late won't it? Has the Bored been allowed to see the RFP? Maybe they don't Need To Know, either. Does the Bored know and approve of all of this secrecy? Does Duke Phfffr? We were promised a committee decision made by members of the real library community. Was this decision made by members of the real library community? Who are they?

One of the big issues with library automation currently is single centralized database or separate site databases. We currently have separate independent site databases. From so many standpoints, a central database makes more sense. Of course, pooling library orders and submitting them centrally makes more sense, too, and look what the Black Queen did with that. The big drawback to a central system is that it depends absolutely on the quality of the whole Duchy network, especially the connections to the Duchy castle. Currently if a school server goes done, it has no impact on the other libraries. If the Duchy Castle's connections go down, well, everything generally runs a little smoother without the spam issuing from the castle regularly. With the ONE and ONLY library database sitting in the Castle's servers, when the Castle connections go down, all 105 libraries will also go down. Shouldn't this have been discussed by the committee, if they had been allowed to meet? Just to make you have even more confidence in our leaders, have you noticed that the Duchy Job Openings page has been down more often than not? The Monday communique had the wrong links for the BIG back to school conference. It took me multiple tries to get the Bored agenda because the agenda page was inaccessible. TiTS has lost multiple employees, a director, and a T. They are now only TS. Have you seen many TS jobs posted (assuming the jobs page is up)? Doesn't that mean that TS is extremely shorthanded, shortheaded, and shortlettered, (maybe even shortsheeted)?

Wait! I understand it! It's in the Black Queen's Top Secret Management Handbook. If 100 library databases have 100 computer problems in a year, then 1 library database will only have 1 computer problem in a year and obviously fixing that 1 problem can be outsourced to Circuit City. Maybe we can apply the same logic to Dotland. Dotland, with 6 employees, was ordering for 105 libraries and created around 500 requisitions. Therefore, each school ordering for themselves would only need to create about 3/4 of a requisition each. (If you want to work it out for youself, 6 employees times 105 libraries is 630. 500 reqs divided by 630 is .79 or about 3/4) Since it's not possible to create 3/4 of a requisition, libraries can wait and only order every other year or 2 orders every 4th year. 2 reqs every 4 years is not an onerous burden for school offices. No wonder the Black Queen wants to get rid of Dotland. (We'll set this segment to the song "New Math" by Tom Lehrer. )