Silver's Rant, Redux

Silver was in a better mood today. As she said, "Some problems are getting solved. Some things are working." That was before she stumbled over a pigeon that had been circling around Black Dot Castle for a while. The pigeon was carrying a message about the troubleshooting procedures Peasants and librarians are supposed to follow when the {beep} program is tooooo sloooooooow. First they are supposed to try it on one workstation. Then they are supposed to try it on another workstation. If the second workstation is faster they CAN turn in a work order to the fabled Help Desk. However, if the second workstation is NOT faster, they are SOL because "that means it's a bandwidth problem and we aren't going to fix it so there's no point in turning in a work order". Let's see, they've just spent 20 minutes on one workstation waiting for a title to not open. Then they've spent another 20 minutes waiting for the same title to not open on another workstation. After an investment of 40 minutes, they are supposed to ... what exactly? Silver's thoughts on the subject have to do mostly with very large hammers. The Lime Green Knight PROMISED us two things - that we would have Outside Access to {beep} and that our bandwidth and network infrastructure were enough to successfully run {beep}. Looks like we lose on both counts. Of course, the Lime Green Knight also told us to turn in work orders on "speed issues". Why is no one every held accountable?!!!!! When Silver attempted to speak on these issues in an open forum, she was held accountable. Actually, she was held down and bludgeoned with TUSD Policies. Almost the same thing. If the Lime Green Knight is held accountable in the same way, can anyone join in? Silver's willing to bring her own paper.

Silver's Rant

I came across Silver muttering furiously to herself. "What's happening?" I asked.
"What's happening!" she growled, "What's happening! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Peasants and Librarians are sending pigeons about the speed of {beep}! Can I answer them? NO, I CAN"T...because answering them might be embarrassing to the Duchy. Can I ask TS why {beep} is so {beeping} slow? No, that could be embarrassing to the Duchy. Can I ask TS or anyone what is being done about this? No, that could be embarrassing to the Duchy. Can I ask Follett Tech Support why {beep} is so {beeping} slow? No, I can't. That would apparently be admitting we have a problem and THAT would embarrassing to the Duchy. Can I ask the Peasants and Librarians what workarounds they've found for the problems? Nope, embarrassing again. You do know that Bored Policy EJC states "Unacceptable use of e-mail includes, but is not limited to:... Using e-mail in a manner, which may bring discredit or embarrassment to the District."? I can't even ask what is being done about the problem. Again..embarrassing to the district. When I ask those limited number of people that I can ask what is being done, I'm told "It's political." No, it's bloody well NOT political, it's technological. And it's not that our hardware is or workstations are too old. There are solutions to this problem and if the Duchy allowed us to actually talk to each other, Follett Tech Support and our peers in and out of the Duchy, we could find and implement them! Arrrgggghhhhhh!"

Serial slasher strikes again in Dotland!

Terror again stalks the halls of Dotland. The Sword of Right-Sizing has claimed another victim. Cornflower has become a DIT. Further, the White Queen promises "deeper cuts!" Is no one safe?
Meanwhile the {beep} Library Manager does not get any faster. Silver is told not to complain about it because "it's political". Really? We're to believe that there are people in the Duchy who want {beep} to go even slower? Have you looked at the new org chart? The Lime Green Knight is in charge of the {beep} "speed issues." The Lime Green Knight and Dotland report to the Black Queen. The Black Queen reports to the White Queen. The White Queen reports to the Duke. The other interested party in the {beep} "speed issue" is the department formerly known as TS. They now report to ...TBA! And wait, they aren't a real department anymore, they're a dotted line labeled "liason". It looks like TS is now SOL. So now we're to believe that the Black Queen doesn't have the political clout to get a leaderless non-department to spend some time fixing the {beep} speed issue. Wow.
While we're on the subject of the org chart, it clearly needs some sprucing up. There aren't nearly enough meaningless colors. Obviously, there's a need for some glitter, some flowers, some stars, more embellishments in general. Silver and Purple are thinking of a "Decorate the Org Chart" contest. They have to do something to pass the time while waiting for {beep} to put up the three screens of gibberish that mean "That search is not happenin'".

Silver fading....

Silver is becoming an official ghost. The Black Queen is still attempting to keep others from talking to her. Fortunately, the Dots and some other Duchy employees aren't afraid of ghosts. Of course, anyone in their right mind is afraid of the Black Queen. When asked about the ghost situation, Silver mused "I wonder if this is how the Laird of TS felt before he "resigned"? I'm sure Her Blackness would be thrilled if I could be driven to "resign"." Silver also pointed out that we are now on Step 5 of the Black Queen's Foolproof Plan for Eliminating Libraries in 5 easy steps (described in these pages on April 3, 2007) . The Black Queen is also once again insisting on only positive communications. There is a upcoming meeting with the {beep} software people to discuss the {beep} software. Silver isn't invited, but the issues she would like to see discussed are:

• Speed (Unfortunately, there's no good, punchy single word that conveys the exact opposite of speed.)
• All students still not getting imported
• No access to {beep} from outside the Duchy
• No access to Library of Congress from inside {beep}

However, all of those topics were considered and rejected as "too negative". So apparently they will discuss the lovely shade of teal in the Destiny screens. They might also be able to talk about the background color without wandering into forbidden territory.

In another disturbing development, one of the Duchy Librarians complained that Dotland received "new" computers this summer. For the first time in over two years, the Dots have hardware that can run the same Windows version as the Duchy libraries have had for the last two years. This makes it much easier to troubleshoot the problems the libraries have with wonderful windows and {beep}. The complaint is disturbing because "Divide and conquer" has long been a favorite Duchy strategy, always used with great success in the past by the Black Queen herself.

Stranger and Stranger

The saga of the {beep} Library Management Program grows stranger and stranger. We were told that imports of student data from the Very Hot Desert Student Records system would take place automatically. Purple, Silver and Sage have been poring over this question for days. The imports appear to have been not so much automatic as automagic. Homerooms appear out of thin air, without being imported! 412 student records were changed on the Sunday of a 3 day weekend! Forcing someone to work on Labor Day weekend has to be magic. Being sometimes acclaimed as wizards themselves, Purple, Silver, and Sage know most magic is just a matter of science, technology, knowledge and experience. {beep} Technical Support is no help either. They just keep saying "Just don't you worry your pretty little head about about student records. And pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." The Dots are developing a deep desire to yank back the curtain!

Dotland Underground

(To avoid possible legal problems, the name of a certain library automation program has been redacted in this post.)
Silver says the Lime Green Knight reminds of her of Lucille Ball in the chocolate-covered cherry factory, madly stuffing chocolate-covered cherries down her bra, to avoid being detected as not quite ept. He's been frantically stuffing bad news about {beep} in every possible orifice. Now he's been taken off the {beep} assembly line. According to the White Tornado, Lime Green is no longer the Lime Green Project Manager. He's back to the Lime Green Knight. Unfortunately, he left a legacy. The remaining Dots are afraid to post to the listservs (can you say that favorite freedom of the press phrase..."chilling effect"?) Silver has been pretty much forbidden although she has taken the risk of replying to a few posts on the listservs.
The real irony of all this is that {beep} really isn't that bad. There are many things {beep} does really well and only a few pitfalls. Since the Dots are so reluctant to use the listserv, Silver has asked me to pass along some information to the Peasants and Librarians out there.
The two biggest problems with {beep} are the speed (or lack thereof) and the Mojave download. Let's take download first. Currently all students are not being imported every night because {beep} decides, using a very cracked crystal ball, which students need to be imported. In addition, student records don't always match up like they should. Both of these problems require minor changes in the way {beep} is set up. The Dots hope that the {beep} gods will see fit to make those changes soon. In the meantime, how do we cope with this?
1. Delete students very carefully. You might not get them re-imported for weeks.
2. We have duplicate records and cases where the transactions did not follow the student. When a student leaves owing you books, search for him/her in Checkout or Patron Status without the check for Only my patrons. If there are duplicates and your transactions didn't follow the student, print a notice and send it to the librarian at the student's new school, just like we did in the past. This is a problem that will fix itself eventually, hopefully by the end of this year.
3. When you search for students by name in Circulation, you can avoid getting a really long list by changing the Only look in box from All to Last name.

Our second major problem is with the speed of {beep} at some sites. Many sites (Silver thinks, but wasn't allowed to complete her survey) don't find {beep} slow. However, a few sites find it so slow as to be completely non-functional. This is probably a problem with Duchy networks, not {beep} itself, which means it's going to be difficult to solve and might require the application of political pressure to encourage the Duchy to fix it. You definitely need to put in a workorder with TiS but it's probably also a good idea to let the White Tornado know about it. After all the White Tornado moves so fast she can't even see things as slow as {beep} can be at some sites.

There. Silver says she feels so much better having gotten this off her chest.