Protection from what?

Report on the state of the Duchy defenses
1. Firewall
The firewall is completely impregnable to hackers attempting to find out if we have books in our libraries. Why hackers would want to know this is another question. The state legislature considers schools in general a socialist plot (along with streets, roads and parks). The lege would probably be very interested to know that we have (gasp!) libraries and (double gasp!) books. However, there has been no evidence that the lege is capable of hacking (or even e-mail!) The firewall also protects our children from finding out if their books are overdue. The firewall doesn't protect us from ads for viagra, toner cartridges and the Literacy Empowerment Foundation!
2. Webcensoring
Websenseless protects us from too much information, always a problem in schools. With information, we might be able to make informed decisions and look where the Duchy would be then. Actually, maybe we should look at where not enough information has gotten us so far. What would have happened if everyone had known that the Black Queen was picking out whiteboards based on the quality of the mint on her pillow? Would the Duchy still have bought the Brand X whiteboards? If everyone had known that the Duchy was paying a consultant for...well actually, we still don't know what the Duchy was paying the consultant for, but if we knew would it have made a difference? Would we be in hock up to our eyebrows if the Duchy hadn't spent all that money on broken Brand X whiteboards and consultants to tell us that Brand X whiteboards won't work with Brand Y software (Brand Y also has good quality mints.) Ironic that the Black Queen once accused the Dots of unethical practices.
Wait a minute. Why do we need defenses? The people we need to be protected from are all inside the walls! How do we get protection from the Black Queen and the Lime Green Knight? Some say the Black Queen and LGK are outside the walls now. Let's see, they don't come to work but they still get paid. They don't answer e-mail, the phone or the taxpayers. And we have NO IDEA which resort they are currently "reviewing bids" in! OMG, we'll be underwater on more than our mortgage if this keeps up!

All quiet on the Southern Front?

Scene: A foxhole somewere in the Duchy
Pvt. Turquoise "Sarge, do you think we'll get out of this alive?"
Sgt. Sage "I don't know, Turq. I just try to keep my head down and keep on keeping on."
Turq "Do you think the Black Queen and the Lime Green Knight are gone?"
Sage "No one seems to know for sure. They don't seem to be gone, they just seem to be ... not quite all there.
Dot formerly known as Silver "They've never been all there!"
Sage and Turq "Silver, where did you come from? How did you find us? Is it safe out there? Did anyone see you?"
DfkaS "It wasn't easy to track you down. You're well hidden in the Science Fortress here."
Sage and Turq "Is there any news?"
DfkaS "Queen Liz has been wringing her hands and crying "Woe is me! "Woe is me!" Woe is us is more like it! Somehow I think her salary will be the last to go! The Keeper of the Duchy Treasury is gone, though. She made $115,000. That should help the budget problem! I've got to go. Keep your heads down and be safe!"
Sage and Turquoise "Safety first!"