The Black Queen and textbooks

From the Duchy Crier:
Textbook inventory management is site-based in the Duchy, as it is in many other duchies and central support for these local processes in the Duchy has been provided by the Black Queen.

Oh, really? The Black Queen?!! My dear, it is to laugh! I wonder if Sage knows this? Since the new part time Keeper of Textbook Inventory will be making $45,000 that must mean Sage is making $90,000, since she's a full time Keeper of Library Management. I had no idea Sage was so well paid! Not that she isn't worth it, of course. In fact, since Sage is already handling central Library Management and, in addition, Textbook Management, the job supposedly being done by the Black Queen, that should mean that Sage actually should be making $135,000 a year. She should demand a raise immediately!

Duchy in the hands of CAOS!

The Duchy has fallen into the hands of CAOS, the international organization of evil and Maxwell Smart is nowhere to be found. The new Queen Liz, obviously being held hostage by agents of CAOS, keeps sending out pigeons asking the villagers not to panic, it only seems like chaos and things will be all right. The CAOS agents are apparently heavily armed with weapons with odd names like RIF and DIT, SLA and MBU and maybe bumper cars? (Everyone is very worried about bumping.) The Duchy treasury has apparently been looted and there is no more money for the villages and teachers. The new President is trying to come to the rescue with a new weapon called a "stimulus package". However, CAOS is poised to spring into action and divert the stimulus package to "professional development" and shove the Duchy even further back in time. The village councils have had strategy meetings to decide how to defend themselves. Some decided that they needed an extra kindergarten teacher instead of a village headman. That attempt has already been foiled by CAOS. Agents from the castle told the village councils that there was still plenty of money for the councils to travel and see new and innovative educational experiments like DisneyWorld, Six Flags, and the Osama Bin Laden Preschool and Terrorist Training Camp. The village councils, ever alert, heard the operative word in that announcement...money. "You mean there's money!? We could have a kindergarten teacher after all!"

"No, no, no. It's money only for new and innovative educational experiments."

"We want a really innovative and educational kindergarten, with a teacher and everything. We'll even hire a new teacher for it. Let us have the money!"

But CAOS was adamant. The money is not for spending on fripperies like teachers and new pigeon roosts for the Duchy's increasingly elderly pigeons. (If they don't get newer, faster, healthier, pigeons soon, they be spending even more money on pigeon nursing homes, and pigeon medicare programs!) It can, however, be spent on the kind of resort visits that got the Black Queen in trouble!?