Black Queen's Plan Revealed! Secrets Leaked!

It was recently revealed the the Black Queen's Top Secret Management Handbook was accidentally sent to an obscure cartoonist named Scott Adams. Adams then sold the book to HarperBusiness. HarperBusiness then published the handbook under the title Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. The Black Queen's office denies any knowledge of any kind of management secrets (or any knowledge of management for that matter.) Here are some excerpts from the published handbook so that you can judge for yourself.

From Section 1.1 Acting like a manager
...you will be expected to spend as much as forty hours per week doing management stuff, regardless of how much management is needed. Obviously, unless things are seriously broken, most of what you do will be "filler"

Management Time Fillers

• Renaming the department
• Status Reports (Job descriptions? Strategic Planning?)
• Teamwork exercises
• Office relocations
• Writing mission statements
• Random Organizational changes
• Making view graphs
• Micromanagement

From Section 1.7 Technology Primer for Managers
If you're too lazy to skim technology magazines for good ideas, simple combine any two good concepts , then challenge your staff to make it happen. For example, you could say "Why don't we make all of our electrical outlets digital?" or "Why don't we use SmartyPants Boards for Inventory?"

From Section 1.12 Ways to Avoid Making Decisions

• Form a task force of people who are too busy to meet
• Send employees to find more data
• Lose documents submitted for your approval

From Section 1.14 Leadership
Leadership is also about empty, meaningless expressions. Here are a few you should memorize.

• Work smarter, not harder.
• It's a new paradigm
• It's an opportunity, not a problem.

From Section 2.1 Employee Satisfaction
Employee Satisfaction Alternatives (pick one)
1. Increase salaries
2. Improve the working environment.
3. Do an employee satisfaction survey and ignore the results.
Choice 3 is the correct answer.

As you can see, the Dogbert "handbook" bears an eerie similarity to the management style of the Black Queen. Can you doubt that she wrote the book on this?